I remember what i missed most about living on campus with friends..

just the random ass reminiscing. Its my first night at the 13th house and shit is already awesome. JayBay, Fishking and I, along with Their better halves, just spent a good hour or so talking about some of the crazy shit we did in high school. The sex/drugs/rock n roll. At my parents house i hardly left my room. True Otaku style.
I got my room almost all set up. Well.... almost... I need another bookcase or something because i dont have anywhere to put my dvds and random shit like that. I got halfway through unpacking and realized how much random shit i really have. Then i just stopped and boxed some of it back up. Hahaha.

well. Im gonna be lame an non social cause i was social all day. Time to play Persona 4.

moving out this weekend.

****edit****
Saturday.

My car broke down... again...

Only this time on my way home from work... The alternator went out. Battery started to die on the way home. first went the cruise control, then the radio, then the engine. On 161... between sunbury road, and little turtle way. The neighborhood i live in. less than 5 minutes away.

the worst part

Instead of driving less than five minutes to pick me up in my stalled, non running, no radio, no heat, no nothing but cars driving 5 inches away at 65 and higher miles per hour, Car... my mom makes me wait almost an hour for the tow truck that will be there in 30 minutes with a complete stranger to pick me up. Who doesn't know I need a ride home by the way.

a whole FIVE FUCKING MINUTES... not too difficult..

If it had happened to her. I would have been there. It has happened to one of my brothers numerous times. But no. No one can fucking pick Paul up.

I am so fucking pissed right now. I'm moving out next month. No longer really care what happens to my financial situation, or my car. I am NOT living in this household anymore. At this point I would rather be homeless.

My mind is a giant cluster fuck of profanities and various forms of anger towards my mother. If that's what you want to call her.

decisions decisions...

so... a buddy if mine needs to sublet his apartment out for the next six months... he lives on campus on the east side of 11th... less than 250 a month. 40 for gas. 25 for electricity. no water. this would be about 1 paycheck a month out of 3 - 4 depending on the month...3 room mates. I know them all, and am friends with them all... offered to pay all but 100 of the first months rent if i moved in..

but... if i move in... and i going to end up doing what i always do and turn the apartment into a place where i store all my junk while i live at my parents house? not really sure what to do. I miss living on my own.. I really really really really really hate living with my parents. I miss my independence. but I always do, and always do the same thing.

but its also a 6 month lease, not 12 months... hmmmm.....

decisions decisions.

to be 16 again.

So i had a little girl as a patient today... not too little, but 16...

I felt bad for her. so bad. She was going from one psych ward into a residence. We got in there, and she sat on our cot all timid. She was carrying a four in thick book and one of those black and white marble notebook with two golf pencils inside.... The right in front of the patient a nurse comes up and tells us that if we allow her to have a pencil on the ride we will have to watch her... Im sorry.. i dont really care what the patient does with the pencil, the patient is fully aware of their surroundings... you really shouldnt just say that in front of the patient and make them feel like they are the smallest person ever. I would be pissed. Where is the sympathy? what if you were in her fucking shoes.

Ridiculous.

so anyways. we let her have the pencils. someone is in the back if need be. which it doesnt look like it will.

We are taking her all the way past toledo. Its about a two hour and fifteen minute drive. Im driving the way there. The patient... ill name her..... Jess.... Jess all of a sudden brightened up. you could tell she really did not want to be there. She was timid. sooo timid. as we got into the elevator she got the nerve to ask us a question. "can we listen to the radio? i would like that a lot..."
to which we said yes, and would let her pick the station. to my demise she chose sunny 95. bdffasdfsdkjfakjdfasf.

so anyway.... we get into the truck. i let our dispatch know im transporting, starting mileage.. blah blah blah... and i crank the radio.. there are no speakers in the back, only the front cab, so i have to deafen myself to make them able to hear it.

So anyway... a little over 2 hours later we get to the extended care facility and wheel jess in. We then decide to let her off the cot and walk in because it is less embarassing for her. I felt so bad for her. She was a cute girl. She was so.... Innocent.. or so it seemed. Later found out she was in there for Bulemia and Annorexia. She then got so tired of people trying to help her with her disorders that she threatened to kill herself, and then carved something into the inside of one of her forearms, and later took a bunch of ibeprofean. Not to kill herself, but to... i guess... release the tension.. make everyone stop talking about food..

anyways.. I felt really bad for her. I havent exactly been in the same situation, but still.. I know what its like to have a million people crowding you, looking over you, tying to help, and by helping making everything worse. It was sad.... She will remain one of my favorite patients.

poor jess.

work n such...

As usual I have been working way too much... a girl I work with had to go to cambridge to attend to her niece who was having surgery, so i worked the second half of her shift tonight with my dude Mooney. Good guy. He was in my firefighting (240) class. So anyway.. our dispatcher likes me, and she hooked us up. so all we had were a couple of net care runs, and then we went out for pizza. hahahahahaha. I love having the hook up.

But anyway we went back to station afterward. Luckily I got my pay stub for tomorrow early, and I GOT PAID!!! yes. So thats good. my job has this tendency to forget to pay me...

I don't really know what this journal entry is about, i just haven't updated in quite a while.

Im watching the second DeathNote live action movie, and the intro music is Dani California by the Chili Peppers. Thought that was amazing, because it is a Japanese Movie. One of these days... I wanna go to Japan so badly. I would settle for anywhere outside Ohio at this point on a non-work related trip.

so... who wants to go on a road trip?

Think im gonna buy a PS3

A 60 gig, which is also backwards compatible is only $430 used.. not too bad. plus my next check will be huge. Plus then I can vedge out playing sid meier's civilation for hours on end.

I'm watching The Wackness... its fuckin awesome. If you haven't seen it, then you should really check it out. Its really weird that the main character grew up in roles on Nickelodeon and now he is doing a movie where he is a drug dealer.. shit is weird. Kind of reminds me of Garden State. Dont know why.

I hate valentines day. Have i mentioned that at all?

Ugh, don't wanna go to work tomorrow. really wanna hear back about a job at Mt. Carmel that would pretty much make me the happiest kid ever.

I am REALLY tired of being pressured by people to try and make me do shit. I am old enough to make my own decisions. I know what I want, and I'm going to work towards that. Not working at MedCorp for the rest of my life.

on that note..... Night.


*****edit.
just noticed the guy from the main character from The Wackness.. kid who was a nick actor. His name is Josh Peck. Making him cool. Wonder if im related?

Make Films, Not War.

Ive realized i have an obsession with Foreign Films. I was looking at my Netflix home page and every recommendation they had for me was Japanese, or some other sort of foreign film.

I dont really like American movies... I mean... crashes, gun shots and explosions are great and all, but I'd rather have a substantial story.

Plus i like reading subtitles, otherwise i have trouble paying attention.


I was watching the Japanorama (BBC special on Japanese pop culture) that my dad downloaded for me forever ago. Freakin love that show. But anyway... I added a couple of new movies i saw on that show which are coming today. Im really excited. First is the Calamari Wrestler ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0428662/ ) and second is Executive Koala ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0830581/ ) They look amazing and cheesey. Love it.

I really need to go to Japan.

Happy singles awareness day!

Ugh.

Goin to a bar with my dudes the Andys.

Today has been.... Good... yes, that is the word im looking for.. GOOD.

I went to the gym.. which i dread doing. but it was really good today. I ran for 2 miles, and then rode a bike for 3. i feel good. Its amazing how working out can just boost your serotonin like that. Then i did some pull ups... my shit has gotten sooooo weak. i had to have assistance in my pull ups. Then i did some dips, which are, as always amazing.

The funny thing about running is that no matter how much it hurts, you can keep going. your body has more ability than your brain wants you to realize. You can always push father than what you think. Always. Last time i ran, it was pathetic. My feet hurt, so i decided to quit a lot earlier.... anyway. while i was running i was listening to my mp3 player and in my head i just had a montage of what i wanted to be, who I am, and the whole transformation. it was kind of epic.

weird... I know...

So anyway, i can home, made a delicious grilled chicken spinach salad, and now here i am.

now I'm pretty exhausted.
should sleep well tonight.

I honestly cannot find a single class i want to take next quarter. This Shit Is Horrible.

Good news is... Mount Carmel is going to be accepting admissions into their program starting next fall begining April 1st! And i dont need any requisites. But.. what am i gonna do this coming quarter?

For the first time... since fire? yep, thats it... I would like to take a class i actually enjoy.

any class suggestions?



****edit

ok, so i made a decision, that is until i change it... but im taking anatomy, and intro to film.

should be not as boring as this quarter.
i like movies, and... anatomy is related to my field of interest.

insomniac at heart

Ive slept around... 6 hours in the past 3 nights. Im going kind of insane. Ive had the worst headache of my life for 2 days now. Before I had problems sleeping i never used to get headaches. Now...

well...

my fuckin head hurts. Nothing helps. caffeine, tylenol, advil, ibeprofuen... not a damned thing. not to mention i still cant sleep at all. Goin crazy.

plus a boring ass day at work. Ive realized the one problem i have with my job, the long hours. My shift runs from 10-24+ hours. those are damn long hours... I typically start at 7, which means i have to get there at about 630 to check my truck. Not to mention i work in Dublin. So i have to wake up around 530 to get ready for work and make it there on time. Then I spend all day lifting overly large people, and driving. shit gets realllllll tiring. . . by the time i get off work, assuming i get off on time (yea... right), Im too fucking tired to do anything. I work 3 days a week, thats almost half my week devoted to work. Thats a lot of time.

anyway... thats all for now. night.

Me.

Movie Fanatic, Adrenaline Junkie, "Egg", Nervous, Ridiculed, Gaijin, Proud, Cook, Worker, Family Man, Health Care Professional, Shy, Strong Willed, Hopeful Linguist, Student, Philosopher, Animal Lover, Compassionate, Party go-er, Serotonin lacking, Otaku, Gym Enthusiast, Traveler, Rubber Tramp, Anxious, Dreamer, Persistent, Easily Excited, Paul Tobin Peck.